light at the tunnels end
yeah. i did it. what i said. last entry.
i dont feel good about it. i feel pretty shit about it, actually.
how did i let it happen? why? whats going to happen to me?
its so funny that when i say something, the opposite happens and then confuses me!
when i stopped coke last year-or tried-people brought to me, as a surprise, for free. when i rule out guys and say im not looking for someone, the longest relationship of my life happens. and 3 days before my first paycheck in 3 months, after i said im going to do my damndest not to get involved with coke again, it comes a callin'.
j-o-o-o-o-o-o-r-d-a-n
and how can i say no? how? i am only so strong. but it was so convenient. but its annoying. what a tease. but, im not craving more. not enough to make me go on a manhunt to find a snug connection.
gotta save money. gotta save money. im tired. i have no use for such things.
alright. i will just keep telling myself all that. itll get me through