finally, its released me!
i dont care about coke right now. i love it still. but i dont care. its not life or death to me. and that is fucking awesome.
really, with miguel it doesnt matter. its not important. hes my drug. i told him the other day that i could be around him all the time and never do anything. i dont have to smoke. i dont have to drink. i dont have to do anything. im content. and i love it.
its really weird when i think about it. drugs mean nothing to me when hes in the room. the other day he couldnt smoke cuz of a drug test and as a result, i had no interest in smoking. and i love it!
that doesnt mean im sober all the time though. last night was the biggest party that little, crooked house has ever seen. (and by big i mean about 40 people.) it was great. there was drama, romance, action, drinking, coke, costumes, candy, uno, reunions, love, hate, wings, womens overalls, priests, crying. everything you could want/expect from a party.
its november. no more coke buying. but thats okay. id rather spend my money on being happy with miguel-and by that i mean food. after january perhaps this hiatus will end.
but it doesnt matter-im happy without it.