future me
Wednesday, May. 15, 2013 + 10:22 a.m.

it was in my hand.

for one half of a quarter of a second I was an old me-the younger me. I could feel the warmth it would spread throughout my insides.

I could already feel the euphoria after that first hit. I wanted to bring it to my mouth.

but as easily as I envisioned the good itd bring, I felt the bad. the paranoia that would set in the instant the euphoria passed. the shame. the embarrassment. the guilt.

it wasn't a fight to put it down. it wasn't a very hard decision to not use. it was relatively easy. part of me is proud. and the other part is like..wtf you proud for? just don't do it.

pastjordan would have decimated every last drop within seconds and without a second thought. how the times have changed..

I only get sleepless nights

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