desolation
March 1, 2009 + ?

the more i socialize with people the more i realize how inept i am. at being around people. i am no one. i have nothing...to contribute, to say. i am nothing anymore.

i am pathetic. i hurt worse than i can explain (to anyone in my world).

i am alone. because of myself.

i have no one.

its hard to smile if im not stoned.

its hard to breathe if im sober.

HEART. heart.

that word looks dumb. i want to explode and rebel against that word. the world that that word begs.

i am alone.

but only because of my own actions. it burns. i have no heart. NO life.

i am alive but i am void of LIFE.

i hate myself. am i too broken?

i care too much and thus not enough. i dont want to die but i fear i am already dead.

why do i need to be saved?

I only get sleepless nights

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