forever young
whats moderation?
such an aggravation.
ive gotta stop drinking!
at least slow down enough so that my tolerance is on par with that of my peers.
idk if i get drunk anymore.
i take a shot and then travel through some crazy portal into blackoutsville and the next day people are telling me how drunk i was.
but i remember being drunk in the past. the warmth of intoxication. filling my body up like a running bath. but lately, thats not how it happens.
the first 6-9 drinks are just a warm up. and then after that theres no stopping it and im not in control anymore.
im not sure if i am explaining this right. we are all alone.
i just want to stop for a few weeks. let the tolerance drop. right now everyone is drunk and ive already had two shots and a mixed drink and i dont even feel tips.
i want everything to be fun again.
it was fun! it was so much fun.
no worries. no responsibilities. no warrants. no drug court. no record.
we used to get coke every day like it was mcdonalds. we used to ride around and smoke a blunt. we used to roll at the beach. we used to trip on the roof.
now..its so different. i have to grow up-but why? this isnt making sense to me! this whole life process.
why the fuck do i have to do what everyone else does? get a boyfriend, a job, a degree, a car....
i understand that it all comes with a newfound freedom and at the same time grounding but...i want to be 16 forever. i can. i am. ha.
oy. im going to stop dilly dallying and get drunk now before the rum i pitched in for is gone.