cold on the inside
its sad.
that i cant kick this. i cant kick anything.
not that ive tried.
or put up much resistance.
but i dont stop or slow down.
my every waking moment i crave. something more-besides sobriety? not necessarily. just something more. something to fill this gaping void in me.
i just realized that. theres a huge black hole inside me. and the only thing i know to quelch it is intoxication. inebriation.
i spent a couple days tripping. taking more than i ever had. two boxes in one night. a box the next day. little sleep. and i topped it off with getting drunk and waking up in someone elses bed.
and today, im a little shaky. im still a little drunk. and i think im finally coming down from the tcs.
i dont feel much like drinking, but its the only thing i can do to stop the shakes-could be duster withdrawls too. and itll keep me warm on this chilly night.
am i complaining? or suggesting something. not really. just explaining my state.