easy does it
i relapsed.
about 15 minutes ago.
im weak.
thats dumb. because im not.
and to think things like that is.
so...am i?
no. but i was. but stronger than i could have been.
do i get brownie points (what are those, btw?) for that?
i took one hit of marijuana. the biggest one i could muster in my cigaretted body. the smell of the cookies. the lack oF alcohol. the ease with which it came.
now-it just came to me while typing this-i let cameo down. damn. she has been busting her ass, faltering, prevailing, suffering, and i just dropped the ball and "picked up" in front of her. thats bad.
im bad. i suck.
well, if it makes anyone (me) happy, i have to admit tomoorow at na that i slipped and start over with a white key chain.
i wasnt strong enough. how upsetting.