i wish i was a little bit taller
i flew.
i fell.
i felt nothing.
i felt everything.
i felt wrong.
it felt right.
i was in over my head.
i want to be in way more.
its bad. i want more. i want more quantities. i want more frequencies.
its the sordid life of a druggie.
its easy to deny that title. near impossible to accept it.
but once you accept it, does that mean you have to try to renounce it? does it mean you should embrace it?
ive accepted it and ive done neither of the above. i just keep going. i keep chugging-as ive been saying a lot lately. i ignore it. it means very little to me.
i want what i want and i dont let pesky rationale get in my way.
i dont want to stop. i dont want to slow down. if anything i need to speed up. if anything i need to go harder, faster, stronger.
i dont feel fulfilled. and i need more of my poison. anyones poison really.
last night-that first hit was amazing. and nothing after lived up to it. yet. i wanted more.
thats how they say it is-that first hit is the one that gets you hooked and nothing after is ever as good.
its the story of my life.
wish me luck.
for the umnpteenth billionth time.