unamusing musings
my life is a jumble of blunts, 32s, and cigarettes.
i cant keep my days straight-what i can remember anyway...
its a sad fate, being an alcoholic pothead. i am tired. always tired. and when i wake up, i dont really remember. but, when i am drinking i dont really feel that drunk...but i drink a lot.
its owen. hes got this boundless energy. from wake to godknowswhen he can keep drinking and smoking and still want more. i cant do that. i mean, maybe i can. after building myself up to it, but so far its a pretty bumpy ride..i wake up deadtired. sometimes i dont wake up at all.
i keep seeking being unsober. i think i should drink some liquor more because the beer drunk isnt worth it. i dont think. i dont remember so well anymore. it sucks. but, i like spending time with him. hes a bad influence. i didnt kno that the bottom shelf of the refrigerators at gas stations is for 32s. now i know. and i see it more and more.
im getting fatter and no way to stop it, really. the drinking and smoking and munching and the owen working at subway. and the lack of white in my life. its sad. i want more. i want so much. its sick. i read something about lilo being given (FREE) 2g a day by people. not even having to pay for it. omg. i cant even imagine. but i can. and im mad that im not her.
it sounds sick. but i dont care. i love it. and always-still even-want it. i went crazy and bought a ball the other day. almost a week ago i think. i didnt get enough. i never do. maybe ill get another.
im sick of the unstable, weak mind that is mine.