i can see clearly now
i dont WANT it. im just used to wanting it. which, i think, is what im adjusting to.
its not like i crave the restlessness and the empty taste in my mouth. its just that its been a constant part of my life for a while and im used to wanting it and getting it.
its weird how psychological the addiction is.
i was on the phone trying to get a ride to migs house so i could be there when he got home. i pretty much gave up and gave in to not being able to. until i heard they were getting coke. then, immediately my stomach went tense and it was until i got there. i didnt even want it to. i dont know. it was weird and annoying.
but i dont want it as bad as ive been complaining or as hard. im just retarded. and adjusting to it not being a part of daily life.
just bear with me, folks.