goodbye yesterday
Sunday, Dec. 31, 2006 + 8:30 a.m.

its been such a turbulent year. 2006 has.

i dont make resolutions. at least not just on account of the fact that its january 1st. thats dumb.

but i have hopes for myself.

as naive as they may be.

i want to have control. and still have a habit.

i want drugs to not be such a heavy part of my life.

i want to not depend on drugs/druggies to make my world go round.

its dumb to say hope because i control all of this. it all can be if i make it so. hope, fate, chance has nothing to do with any of this.

just stay with me miguel. god please dont leave me alone. i need you.

maybe i should tell him this is here...

why, so he can know what a loser and abuser i am? no.

but anyways...happy new years. i hope its better.

I only get sleepless nights

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